The laundry room in this household has instituted a zero tolerance policy on loitering.
Starting today all rogue socks will be terminated on site.
Please note that the buddy system was previously put into place in order to help socks find a suitable partner and encourage them to find a home in a respectable drawer. If you are a rogue sock and do not have a partner we suggest that you find one immediately or risk being terminated. As this household has an equal opportunity policy, sock partners may cross color and fiber boundaries. However, any unmatched socks left in the laundry room will be considered a threat to household security and terminated on site.
This is a fair warning: I am packing heat. It’s called the dryer and I’m exceptionally skilled at using it. So don’t test me. Any sock caught loitering in and around the laundry room will be terminated on site or worse – made into puppets.
Thank you for your cooperation.