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A License to Hunt Ghosts

ghost

Recently, one of my friends showed me a photo of her family. The sun was shining, the grass was green, blossoms were blooming, everyone was smiling and she indicated the light orb just to the right of her is her mother.  It was just above her shoulder. I suggested to her that maybe the orb …

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Is Your GPS Working?

Dearly beloved, we are gathered together today, here in the sign of God- and Jewish mothers everywhere to grant pardon or pay homage to our female procreator. This is a day to find the ‘perfect card’, buy her favorite candy, contend with the maddening crowd at Peppones and honor almighty Mother, au pair, caretaker, parent, …

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MAY IS YAM SMELLED BACKWARDS

Today, May 4th is a very special day in history. For those who don’t know or don’t care, Manhattan Island was purchased for $24 in cloth and buttons in 1626. A phonograph was played for the first time at the Grand Opera House in 1878, The Academy of Motion Pictures was founded in 1934 and …

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Cell Phones and Other Macrobiotic Organisms

bluetooth-headset

Every day, people at work are walking around the office wearing their headsets, seemingly talking to themselves. Trouble is, when they’re listening, it’s impossible to tell if they are on a call. Often, I start to talk to them and they give me that, can’t-you- see- I’m- on- the -phone, glare.  At other times, they …

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The Hair Plays A Part

As I was blow drying my hair this morning, I realized that it has undergone many great difficulties through the years. It occurred to me that I should lavish it with expensive shampoos and conditioners. After all the abuse it has suffered, Lord knows it deserves some pampering. The first hair disaster happened when I was …

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Dr. Bennett and Me

In my ongoing quest for self-betterment and mental health, I am actively following suggestions set forth by my psychiatrist, Dr. Neil Weakly. The following transcript documents the session I had with Dr. Anthony Bennett, a well-know physicist, and Nobel Prize winner. Dr. Bennett: So, my friend, Dr. Weakly has sent you here? Me: Yes, he believes my …

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