Humor: Communication Matters…

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” George Bernard Shaw Humor: Communication Matters… Fishing Faith One day a Pastor and a Brother took a Visitor fishing by boat. Once in the Middle of the lake, the Pastor said, “I seem to have forgotten myfishing pole, be right back,” and to the visitor’s amazement, he stepped out of the boat and walked on top of the water towards the shore. When he returned, the Brother said, “I need to use the ...

Inspiration: A Shift In Perspective…

“Our passion and principals are constantly in a frenzy, but begin to shift and waver, as we return to reason.” Laurence Sterne Inspiration: A Shift In Perspective... “Humans have the ability to shift perspective. We can experience the world through our senses. Or we can remove ourselves from our senses and experience the world even less directly. We can think about our life, rather than thinking in our life.” John J. Emerick Paradigm Shift: An adjustment in thinking that comes about as the ...

Inspiration: Everything Can Change For the Better…

“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”Jim Rohn. Inspiration: Everything Can Change For the Better… Recently, I read a post from Joel Osteen titled Don’t Give Up. I get his inspiring tips and prayers - Today’s World  – daily, and the timing of it was perfect. Joel’s post was exactly the message I needed to hear at that moment because I was struggling with some important change that had to be made. His soothing words and thoughtful, prayerful advice calmed me ...

How to Divide Peonies in the Fall

Peonies are hardy, long lasting perennials that produce beautiful, aromatic flowers in the spring and summer. They can be left undisturbed for years, but over time they can stop flowering and get overcrowded. Subsequently, they need to be divided to regain their beauty and glory. September is the ideal time to divide your peonies, when the leaves have died back. Once the plants are dug up, they need to be transplanted immediately. Here are the steps on how to divide your peonies: Prepare ...

Flowers Jokes!

Life can be stressful. Laughing is a great way to relieve stress and can help maintain a healthy mental well-being. So laugh whenever you can. It’ll make you feel better. Cheesy jokes always make me laugh. Here are some of the best jokes I’ve found online. Hope they make you smile! If you know of any other flower jokes, share them with us in the Comments. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims. What did the bee say ...

Best Bulbs to Plant in the Fall

With the cooler temperatures and shorter days, you probably want to pack up your gardening tools and call it a day. But before you do, be sure to plant your spring-flowering bulbs! The bulbs are usually planted in late September to early November when the soil is moist soil and when the weather is cool. The cooler weather helps the root systems develop before winter sets in. Here are our favourite bulbs to plant now for spring colour: Tulips These beauties are a ...

It Would Serve Me Right

A painting hangs in our dining room that might look familiar to many of you; it shows Claude Monet’s famous Japanese Bridge at Giverny. Monet painted a dozen versions of this bridge—all at different times of the day in an exploration of color and light—but he didn’t paint this one. I did, forty years ago. I say this not as a boast for having done a decent job of mimicking Monet’s style, but as a confession for a serious lack ...

Musings: On Driving…

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?” George Carlin Musings: On Driving... Maserati convertible... “Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I ...

Conjuring Halloween

The thing that I’ve always liked about Halloween is that it temporarily demystifies evil, giving us permission to laugh at, and perhaps even celebrate, the dark side of everything. The common bat with its leathery wings, hyper-flapping against the tranquility of twilight, becomes a prop for hauntings and mayhem as we mimic devils, zombies, and vampires, sucking up their dark powers and using them for sport. We get to poke fun at our greatest enemy, death, by dressing as ghosts and ...

3 Tips When Considering a Face Tattoo

Hip Hop Star Gucci Mane's head-scratching face tattoo I'm no stylist to the stars or savvy metro-sexual maven, but here's my top recommendation regarding your appearance to ensure your best chance at getting a job. Do NOT get a tattoo on your face!! Call me old fashioned, but nothing says "unhirable" quite like permanent ink above the shoulders. [see photo insert of hip hopster Gucci Mane's triple scoop ice cream cone with lightening bolt accents.] This little rant of mine was sparked by my commute ...

Neighbors Pesky Over “Pesty” Misperception

I recently heard about a neighborly conflict, which I know to be true, that I found to be shocking…and it goes like this. A family of four has lived in the same house within the same neighborhood for several years. The father works for a pest control company that graciously provides him with a company vehicle that he can drive directly to various customer sites. Based on conversations I’ve had with the dad, who is a highly-trained professional, he typical works on ...

Role of Kids in Your Family Life

Here’s a guest post from writer, Sophie Samuel. If you’d like to write a guest post for The Daily ReTORt, check out the guidelines here: Children are an integral part of a family and a home. A newly married couple waits anxiously for the birth of their first child and for more thereafter. We all love sound of little feet running around the house, the mischief and prank, the unbridled laughter and so many other joys that only kids can give. Now what exactly is the ...

The $5.37 “Caption This” Contest: Vol. 11

Welcome to another edition of the lowest-cash-award-for-a-photo-caption-contest on the Internet, the $5.37 Caption This Contest! Thanks to everyone who entered the most recent iteration of the contest last week. Once again the entries were great – too great. I simply couldn’t decide on my own. So I took each of the entries to our 8-year old daughter’s Girl Scout troop meeting to let them pick – lucky they were working on their “Humor Merit Badge” that week. In a unanimous decision, by Girl Scout Troop 537, the winner ...

The $5.37 “Caption This” Contest: Vol. 6

Thanks to everyone who entered to win the staggeringly ironic $5.37 cash prize for the most recent “Caption This” Contest! After consulting with the firm Arthur Anderson to oversee the integrity of the selection process, a winner has been chosen. That winner is Chris Muller see his caption below. “Bugs Bunny Jr., looking to escape his father’s shadow, took a decidedly rebellious turn in life.” Congratulations to the victor – who can message me at Facebook or on Twitter with an appropriate email address ...

1st Radio Interview for My Book!!!

Last night, I had the opportunity to talk about my new, best-selling book A Question of Faith with Phoenix-based radio talk show host Michael Ray Dresser, his nightly topical radio show is titled Dresser After Dark. If you’re interested, here’s my 15-minute interview in its entirety: If you’re interested in my book, I’m offering a special  limited time offer this week. Click the link below for details at how you can get your copy of A Question of Faith as well as 60 Bonus ...

Life Lessons Learned from Potty Training

Recently, my wife and I went through the process of potty training our toddler. It was a challenging, humbling, and emotionally draining experience. From this, I learned or revisited many life lessons that can be applied to absolutely anything, from writing to building a house. Patience is critical. Life is going to get very crappy sometimes, but it will get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Things usually don’t happen as quickly as you’d like them ...

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I’m sorry for my hypocrisy

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I haven’t always been so true, No one knows this more than you. When your child was abused too, I said, “This is what you should do.” “You should definitely speak out!” My words becoming a shout. You should’ve given me a clout And said, “Go sort yourself out.” For yet, and all the while, I was drowning in denial, That though I continued to smile, I …

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Haiku: The First Day Of Spring…

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Today is Thursday March 20th, the first, official day of spring! The buds start to peak through; crocuses, forget-me-nots, blossoming cherry trees herald the awakening of a new day. Spring has sprung and we can set aside winter wear, listen to some Mamba and dance in the yard. Soon, we’ll see now vegetation and floral life everywhere. Are you excited? What are your plans? …

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Haiku: That’s Amore

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“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore.” Dean Martin Haiku: That’s Amore Dean Martin – That’s Amore (1956) Love… that’s amore It strikes at unusual times In strangest places “Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr. Haiku: That’s Amore Life… that’s amore We wait in vain for lovers To shine like the moon “We can …

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I Believe: A Haiku…

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“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated. ” William James I Believe: A Haiku I believe we need A love touch … appreciation Like the morning sun He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” Epictetus I Believe: A Haiku I believe we …

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Weekly Writing Challenge: The Golden Years

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What are the Golden Years? Have you ever wondered where the term Golden Years originated from? The blockqoute above tells us. However, when I think of Golden Years, I imagine being bathed in light as I lollygag on a private beach. After years of serving our fellow men and women, the fortunate amongst us might get a golden watch or parachute – a way to retire in style …

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Weekly Writing Challenge: Haiku In Threes

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If you believe in the blessings and meaning of threes, then you probably consider it a magical number that holds enormous power and yet brings harmony and good fortune to all. When I think of Three, the Holy Trinity and the triangular shape of the Ancient Egyptian pyramids come to mind. …

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Haiku: A House Is Not A Home

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My haiku is not a description of my experience but more a remembrance for those who have not had a chance to enjoy the love and safety of a home. Our homes are meant to be places of love and safety but sometimes, they become places of pain and suffering. If you grew up in a joyful home, be grateful for the blessing …

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