Advocates of less government intrusion into personal lives should probably take note of the fact that a Federal Permit is now needed in order to transport Red Burmese Python snakes across the Florida State Border.
This should pickle the willie of those who advocate for an open border policy if nothing else does.
If that isn’t enough to anger proponents of smaller government and of discriminatory practices, add the fact that a lot of Python hunting is now going on in The Sunshine State and this may cause a serious threat to the peace and quiet currently being enjoyed by the huge serpent.
It is reported that the snakes are kind of getting back at their human tormentors by proliferating exponentially in the wild and increasing their numbers like gangbusters.
I can’t think of a better excuse for proliferating, can you?
I mean a snake’s gotta do what a snake’s gotta do, right?
I am not sure whether the day will ever come when the Pythons will outnumber people in the beleaguered state, but if it doesn’t happen it won’t be because the snakes aren’t trying their darnedest.
The Burmese Python is ordinarily a native of Southeast Asia, can weigh as much as 164 pounds and grow to as much as 17 feet in length, eats birds, deers, alligators and other large mammals – - – are Humans mammals?
It has reportedly been estimated that there are as many as hundreds of thousands of these things living in The Everglades but no one has yet said, according to anything that I have read, whether or not the snakes are expected to ever over run areas populated predominantly by Humans – - – and their- – - children.
I guess my question at this point is, “Would a big enough Burmese Python ever actually eat a person or is that just the stuff that nightmares and low budget movies are made of?
It is enough to make one refrain from going swimming in some areas of The Everglades in my opinion – - – or from taking naps in shallow boats on warm lazy days.
Now I am not about to attest to the accuracy of anything here but I have heard stories that some of these snakes have been caught and had their stomachs opened and that all kinds of things have been found inside them – - – bird feathers, small animals, bicycle tires, tank treads, small aircraft, parts of a submarine and one pumpkin pie.
The thing is that if the story about the pumpkin pie is true, then it may be that at least some of these monsters are making their way into some of the causeway-type subdivisions built on old habitats and people who bake a lot should probably refrain from cooling their baked goods on open window sills.
As I said before, it is now possible to obtain a license to hunt the snakes in Florida and the pickings are reportedly very good. It has been reported that as many as 14 of these things have been found in The Everglades in the space of a single day. In my opinion that makes for some mighty fine hunting.
Of course, I think that if I was going to go Python hunting, I would not want to go by myself and I sure as heck would want to learn what kind of noise they make because I wouldn’t want one of them sneaking up behind me.
Whaddayamean they don’t make no noise? Isn’t “Slither” a noise?
I also think I would want to take an umbrella with me because I understand some of these things climb up into trees and like to suddenly drop onto their intended victims before beginning the task of squeezing the victims to death by constriction.
Yes, I think that if I were going to go Python hunting in The Everglades, I would definitely want to have someone accompany me – - – probably someone that I am not all that personally attached to emotionally – - – just in case.
My last question is, “What in the Heck would I do with a 164-pound, 17-foot-long snake if I bagged one?
I don’t think it would fit easily in the trunk of most cars and I don’t think I would want to try to drive a car into the swampy areas of The Everglades either.
Posted by John Liming as part of his continuing Diaries of Political Opinion, Viewpoints, Insights and Political Satires.”