For those of you that might be newer readers of the Art of Being Conflicted…I will bring you up to speed. I live in Kansas City but walk every morning with a friend that lives in Dallas. Yes, we get up and get on our cell phones at 6 AM and walk 4.5 miles every day…. rain, snow, wind, sleet. We’re just like the mailman except we don’t carry mail and we won’t get pensions. What this does for us (allegedly) is keep us semi-healthy and keeps us from having to buy bigger clothes.
Thought Number One …I must be a distant relative to Noah
Some of you, long term readers might remember that a few months back, a red fox seemed to want to join us and started walking with me pretty regularly. While not entirely welcoming his companionship, he didn’t seem to be bothering me so I let him follow. (really…what was the alternative? I asked him to stay put and he chose not to)
If walking each morning while seemingly talking to myself (people don’t understand that I am talking on a bluetooth) doesn’t satisfy their assumption, that I’m a whackadoo, I have done them a big favor by offering up corroborating evidence in the form of walking with a red fox. I aim to please.
You would think that the fox would be enough wildlife that wants to hang out with me but seemingly…no.
Last week, a neighbor stop by the house and asked me about the deer grazing near my front yard.
“Huh??? What deer???”
He says ” I saw two deer grazing near your front yard on my way to the gym around 5:30 this morning. It looked like a doe and her fawn.”
Really, I say, ”Can’t say that I noticed any deer at my house.”
I am thinking this just shouldn’t be happening. Here the deal….I live in suburbia. I don’t live in a forest, a zoo, or even a wildlife sanctuary. Olathe, KS is part of a metro area of about 2.2 million people. There is a large park and a creek nearby but there are other yards besides mine for the local fauna to hang out in.
But there’s more…I kid you not… 2 days after the deer sighting, my next door neighbor….you know ….the one that I usually try to dodge, corners me and says, “What a pretty red fox you have in your back yard. It just has the most gorgeous tail.” (like that is a good thing)
“WTF…in my yard????” Then…she goes on to say how beautiful my fox is, like she thinks I have a pet fox. (I decided not to mention, he is my walking partner, not my pet) There is little doubt in my mind that she has already spread the news that Cheryl P. has gotten a new pet that just happens to be a fox with a beautiful tail.
Sure enough, the next morning, when I leave the house for my morning walk, I circle around to the back yard and there he is…my newest resident. Note to all of you: Don’t let a fox become a walking buddy as they will take advantage.
AND STILL IT DOESN’T END…This morning I walk out and guess what???? A mommy possum is moving her babies out from my front shrubs. This just can’t be happening. Hell, no…enough already.
Just minutes ago, I got off the phone with the Olathe Wildlife Control Office. They don’t seem to be bothered about my wildlife problem. The fact that I was detecting a chuckle here and there wasn’t in any way making me feel better. OWCO person tells me none of my guests will hurt me. Although, she did say the possum might snarl at me prior to pretending to be dead. Good times, to look forward to, I guess.