It’s Independence Day (July 4th) here in the United States.
This is the holiday where we celebrate our freedom and the signing of the Declaration of Independence. But I can’t help wondering how we can really feel free when most of us will be enslaved again tomorrow morning when we go back to work. So I’m proposing that we make this holiday a week long festival.
1.) Making this the only paid holiday that lasts a full week (the first week in July) will emphasize the importance of it. Not to mention that people feel more free when they’re not thinking about going to work the next day.
2.) It gives us more time for parades and making homemade ice cream (it takes a long time to churn ice cream. A week of paid vacation should make that more feasible).
3.) Everyone knows that you can’t blow off fireworks without getting drunk first, so making this holiday a full week gives us more time for fireworks AND more time to sober up before going back to work. It’s a win-win situation!
If the government can’t give us a week of paid vacation for this, the least they can do is change the law so that it’s legal to set off fireworks when sober. Not that we’d follow it.