As I was reading all the odd little news stories this week, I wasn’t necessarily surprised by the subject matter of the stories. Many of the themes of “people being idiots” and “making bad choices” are pretty commonplace. I did happen to notice odd little details within some of the stories this week.
BTW…While I TRY to keep my posts fairly PG rated, it seems that the majority of odd news this week contained a bit of perversion on the part of our delusional criminals. Be forewarned that today, the rating will be NC17.
You Lost Me at Hello
Hobbs later told investigators “’I did it, it was me under the trailer.’”
Further investigation determined that “he had been under the trailer for nearly 2 days with food, beverages, tissues, (EWWW) while observing.
Charged with manufacture of child porn, wiretapping, prowling, trespass, and burglary, Hobbs remains locked up in the Rockingham County jail on $25,000 bail. He is due to appear in court on August 27 for a probable cause hearing.
So this woman is looking down through the floor vent and there is a face of a guy named Christian (really inappropriate name for this particular guy) and all he can think to say is “HELLO”. I am thinking that isn’t creative enough for the situation. How about…. Guess who?… Surprise? or maybe…”Don’t mind me, I am just working on my plumbing.”
Rulz for Hoez
During a raid on the Long Island home of an alleged pimp, cops recovered a handwritten list of ten management rules to follow when turning women out on the street, investigators report.(and who better to give us rules…oops, I mean rulz, than a pimp who is spelling-challenged.)
In announcing today’s arrest of eight defendants for their alleged roles in a prostitution and heroin ring, Suffolk County prosecutors released a copy of “Rule’s 2 Da game of Hoez!!!”
The list, which investigators allege was prepared by Steven McDaniel, was recovered from the home he shares with Sandra Russell. McDaniel. Sandra, additionally has been accused of paying her hookers with heroin.
Rules cited in the list include:
* Keep your bi on the law as possible when it come’s 2 family and hater’s (caus you can’t trust none of them)
* No matter how much you like or care for 1 or any of them, don’t trust none
* Make them understand that you don’t need them they need you, and they are
* Follow these rule’s,” the list concludes, “and you should b Gucci.”
Don’t we all want to be Gucci? Interesting that he knows how to spell Gucci but doesn’t know how to spell “know”.
What a Croc
Arrested Saturday on a drunk driving charge after he was found passed out at the wheel of his Porsche, a multimillionaire founder of the Crocs shoe empire told Colorado cops that his girlfriend, Taylor Swift, (he wishes) had actually been driving the vehicle, according to a police report.
When Boulder Police Department cops challenged him about the whereabouts of his purported girlfriend, George Boedecker claimed that she had bolted from the vehicle after they got into an argument. He went on to tell Officer Patrick Vest that his girlfriends is “a really f****** famous singer”. When Officer Vest asked where Taylor might be after leaving the car, Boedecker pointed to a backyard and said “she is in Nashville.” He went on to say that his girlfriend is “batshit crazy”. (Seems they would have that in common.)
After telling the police in a variety of ways to do something that is anatomically impossible, Boedecker was taken to jail. The police report noted that he was wearing flip-flops at the time of the arrest.
Seems the founder of Crocs doesn’t wear crocs…or at least when he is getting arrested. How drunk does someone have to be to think that Taylor Swift is driving their Porsch?
A South Florida man with an
unfortunate name (or an unfortunate sense of humor) was arrested last Friday on a litany of charges in Fort Lauderdale.
Jackmeoff Mudd, was arrested on charges of assault, disorderly conduct, resisting an officer, possession of alcohol in an open container, and violation of probation.
He is being held at a Broward County jail on a $300 bond, which means that at some point in the last few days, a judge in a county courthouse will have to say:
The State of Florida VS Jackmeoff Mudd
Anyone willing to take bets on if the courtroom remains quiet?