I’m happy you are all here to witness, read, share with me, and comment on my thoughts, feelings and experiences. I didn’t want to disappear for a couple of weeks without an explanation, so todays post is to let you know what’s going on. Why I won’t be posting or reading your posts. I’LL BE BACK though.
On June 30th my youngest son is getting married. I have three sons’ the oldest two are married but is the first of my children’s weddings I’ve been a part of. I’m so excited, determined to stay present to the entire process. Enjoy the hustle and bustle of wedding day preparations. Last night my sons fiancée called to share her undiluted joy. She’s effervescent as champagne and it’s contagious!
The first time I married I was seventeen years old. My wedding was nice but I don’t remember it being exciting. For my parents it was a huge financial burden which they reminded me of regularly. The wedding was something they wanted to get through and be done with. I was married in the Mormon temple so my parents couldn’t get a temple recommend to be there. Secretly I was happy about it. My dad though was bitter which caused my parents to fight more than usual. When my current husband and I decided to tie the knot we picked up the license a few hours before we got married. Impulsive and quick as Vegas, we called a Justice of the Peace, I ran down to the local florist, bought a cheap bouquet of flowers, and thirty minutes later we got married in the yard sitting on the tailgate of his truck. You might be a redneck if… Ha! My youngest son [the groom], was the ring bearer and the flower boy. Thinking back on that now, I’m so happy his wedding’s an event. A celebration of love.
My dress is really something! My daughter-in-law to be went shopping with me. I’m no frump, have my own style that I wear quite well, but formal attire is not the usual for me. We ended up choosing a Merlot colored floor length silk gown. Think red carpet stunning. I’ve worn some pretty dresses over the years but nothing like this. I was a bit concerned about standing out too much. Junebug, [my nick name for the blushing bride], was very persistent about my getting this one. I’m really glad she was, I feel smashing when I’m wearing it.
Most of the preparations fall upon the brides family, but they’ve delegated a few things to me. In my family I’m known for my creative flair, so one of my contributions was making the card box. For anyone who doesn’t know, it’s a box that sits at the reception so people cane drop cards into it when they come in the door. Anywho, I decided to make a card box that looked like a three-tiered wedding cake. I took three different sized square white hat boxes, cut the bottoms out of each one, then glued them one on top of the other. Next I cut a slit in the top box. The open bottoms created a shoot that let the cards drop way into the bottom of the cardboard cake. Next I sprayed the boxes with a textured paint so it would look like frosting then sprayed the whole thing with a very light pink. I used stick on jewels in different shapes [including hearts] and sizes and in various colors of pink, then glued pretty silk flowers to the corners of each layer. I wrapped the base of each box in silk fuchsia [one of her wedding colors] ribbon. The final touch was tying a bounteous bow on the top of the cake. It turned out absolutely beautiful!
I chose bright and playful invitations to invite friends and family to a rehearsal dinner my husband and I are hosting the Thursday evening before the wedding. One of the first things on the list of ‘what to do’ during this exciting celebration, which begins on the 26th of June and continues until the 1st of July.
I’m also making up spunky flowery welcome bags for the guests who will be staying at the hotel for the wedding weekend. Original and fun, the tissue paper I’m stuffing them with is fuchsia and orange. In the bag, like Easter basket surprises, I’m sprinkling in Hershey kisses and chewy cherry hearts.
I’m a bit nervous but really looking forward to our Mother and Son dance. There are days when I can hardly believe my baby’s getting married. I wouldn’t call him a mommies boy but we’ve always been close. Luckily Junebug and I hit it off. Have developed a real friendship with each other. At the risk of sounding terribly cliché, I really am getting a daughter. Since I never had one it’s really fun. We share clothes and jewelry and secrets. I’ve included the song we’ll be dancing to at the bottom of this page. Yes, I am going to cry.
My oldest son has two children. His two-year old son won’t be coming but his daughter who is five will be. She’s the flower girl. I’ve only met her once when she was 18 months old and she doesn’t remember that visit. The story is a long one. You will be reading about it sometime in the future as it’s much later in the memoir than the excerpts you’ve been reading recently. While she’s here for the wedding I’ve made plans to take her to the Boston Aquarium. Also to bring her and her daddy to see our cabin so they can get a picture in their mind’s eye before they head back to Utah.
When my youngest son decided to stay with me after the divorce, move to New England with me, it split him and his brothers apart. He and my middle son, just two years apart, were very best friends so the move was incredibly painful for them both. There’s been times when there’s been almost no contact. Times when trying to stay connected was just to painful for all of us. We’ve spent years trying to rebuild, undo some of what’s been done, and have relationships with each other that feel natural and comfortable. Slowly, it’s coming. In ways, I believe the connections are stronger than they would have been had we stayed together. Nothing is taken for granted.
Both my older sons’ will be standing up with their little brother; once very much an outcast among them. This wedding is creating a platform, an opportunity to re-seed the garden of our family. My son and his to be bride have been together for seven years and are very much in love. Their goal, other than the obvious, has been to create an atmosphere of love that their guests will be able to feel,which they’re definitely doing.
This will be the first time me and all three of my sons have been together for well over twenty years. Broken promises and hearts kept me from being a part of the weddings of my two oldest sons of which I still have regret. As we all gather to celebrate the youngest of our clan and his stunning brides wedding day, for me, it is also a humbling, holy, family reunion.
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